Friday, February 6, 2009

Lewd, Crude and Rather Rude

A friend and I sit across each other at an all-you-can-eat Chinese chain in McAllen, TX. Two men out of lunch, just another innocent in the urban area, right? Wrong. Leering behind my friend are two older ladies - possibly Winter Texans - who make under-their-breath comments and one of them keeps checking me out. Flattered at first, I realized that these old chicks aren't really looking at my goods - as if I had any goods - but judging us. They might as well been holding signs that read, "God Hates Fags."

It's the sort of thing that gets me. My friend, a 100% straight guy who is comfortable with his sexuality, and I get this all the time when we go out without our ladies or our female friends. They're constantly wondering who's the catcher and who's the pitcher - I think it would be very obvious which one of us is the catcher.

The women sneer at me some more and I roll my eyes in disgust. With all the shit going out in the world, you'd think a couple of homosexuals in public wouldn't be such a big deal. It's very apparent that the Bush logic - geez, talk about an oxymoron - transcends to the country folk. We're stuck in a quagmire of a "war," seeing the economy flush down the toilet, watching as people in some country that neither of us can really pronounce slaughter women and children and live (for those of us in the Texas/Mexico border) near a country where their military has to police their law enforcement, yet these old hags are more focused on two men - who may or may not be gay - enjoying lunch together.

It's a rather sad deal, really. The whole wide world can go to shit - and has because of the eight year mistake - but rather than paying attention to the important things, a lot of you bigots have your eyes on the so-called sanctity of marriage. If there were any sanctity in marriage, be sure that divorce wouldn't be at a high rate in the United States. If there were such a sanctity of marriage, then you wouldn't have psycho's from the LDS marrying off children. If there were a sanctity of marriage, a lot of you who are so anti-homosexual wouldn't be having sex behind your spouses' backs with secretaries, pool boys, hookers and, you got it, people of the same sex.

The old lady muttered something to her friend, both of them cracked into smile. The whole time she was looking out way. "I can't cum with a blow job," I said.

My friend, shocked, looked at me and then got in sync. We've played this routine before; we know our parts. After a few minutes of our sexual talk, the two ladies got up and paid their check. We continued enjoying our lunch.

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